Friday internet cats

Because it is Friday, I would like to share with you my thoughts on a selection of internet cats.

Here is an interesting juxtaposition involving a selection of cats, three of which are approaching the camera in what could be interpreted as either an aggressive or, alternatively, a ‘cool’ fashion. Interestingly, the terms ‘cool’ and ‘hip’ as slang expressions are believed to have originated as early as the 1930’s – the same period which first saw the word ‘cat’ applied as a slang term meaning either fashionable person or a respected performing musician specialising in the swing style – later to evolve into what is known as jazz.

The formation of the three cats when viewed in conjunction with the text that reads ‘we would be snapping’ is likely a playful reference to the musical West Side Story, the music of which was composed by Leonard Bernstein and the lyrics which weren’t. Leonard Bernstein is both Jewish and bi-sexual, however it is not clear whether the creator of the image below is making any direct comment about the Hebrew faith or bi-sexuality per se.

Two other cats appear in what photography experts describe as the ‘background’.

One interesting scientific aspect of background and, indeed, foreground is that the human brain automatically processes image text using perspective which is the ability to interpret the below image as containing three cats closer to the artist/photographer and the other two cats as being further away.

However, it has been demonstrated by the famous neurophysician and author, Oliver Sachs, that various types of brain injury such as a selective stroke in a certain part of the brain may affect the ability to process an image using the facility of perspective. Such an individual would likely read the below image as five cats, two of which are small and randomly floating above the larger cats. Brain injuries of this nature are not necessarily healed, but in some cases the affected individual may ‘re-learn’ to process perspective through alternative routes in the brain so over time the two small cats will cease randomly floating and get bigger.

Siamese cats are known for being cross-eyed and having claws that do not fully retract, which is sometimes linked with furniture destruction. The cats in the image are not Siamese cats.

Thank you for sharing this image with me. 

Sunday the 21st of August - super blog challenge. Following this heading I am going to get into the Guiness book of BLOG records as author of the shortest post content ever. I mean EVER. The topic I will be treating to the ultimate succinct blog challenge is my carefully thought-out expose on the following subject: IS TYRA BANKS THE BIGGEST TOOL ON TELEVISION OR INDEED ANYWHERE ( y / n )?

y

Tony Abbott is an alien

It occurs to me that in today's online environment, it is possible that someone may act on information from the content of this site with potentially dangerous consequences.

I would like to make it clear that Kate is in no way responsible for the content of this blog.  Years ago she was taken by aliens and replaced with an identical replica fashioned in a perspex mould entirely from lime jelly and cat hairs.  Please remember that aliens operate on a different ethical platform, with alien social norms and a special alien legislative framework not always compatible with local, federal and international law.

As blog viewer, you are not authorised to use content from this or any post from this site as justification to employ an assassin or to invest in poorly-conceived body art.

Read this blog at your own risk.  If suddenly inspired to act on any of the advice provided, you do so exercising your own judgement and may not employ as a defense that this blog compelled action that you later regret.

Moving on.

Tony Abbott - what a moron. 

He annoys me.

Wouldn't it be funny if someone did something really horrible but at the same time funny to Tony Abbott?  I would like to go around to his house when nobody is there.  I would let myself in by using ferrets to squeeze through the gap in the bathroom window.  The ferrets would then open the door for me so I could go around while Tones is in Question Time and do interesting stuff like sticking all the plates together with crazy-glue and replacing the Tones' business cards and personal stationary with a new description which says "Tony Abbott - Chief Opposition Maniac and Ghost Hunter".  Or perhaps something really evil, like filling in all the unfinished crosswords.

I would pack my ferretts in a bag along with all the TV remote controls and leave as mysteriously and suddenly as I arrived.

Visit Canberra!

Canberra! - a vast stunning land of ten provinces and three territories, extending from the Atlantic Ocean in the east to the Pacific  in the west and northward into the Arctic.  Governed as a parliamentary democracy and constitutional monarchy with Queen Elizabeth II as the head of state, bilingual Canberra with both English and French as its official languages has a diversified economy and one of the highest standards of living in the world.

Wait up

I'm thinking of Canada. I'll start again:

Canberra! - capital city of Australia and home to a number of cats and an owl, it is the eight-largest city in the Australian Capital Territory (ACT) coming in between Not Canberra to the south and Hall. Native-born residents of Canberra are known as Canberra Cats.

With a 100 per cent proportion of Canberra Cats employed as public servants, the federal government contributes the largest percentage of Gross State Product and is the largest single employer of Cats. The average income is higher than the national average, as is the level of tertiary education completion, with every individual over the age of 9 holding the minimum of a doctoral-level qualification under the Australian Qualifications Framework (AQF) and entitled to use the title Dr Cat.

Canberra is noted for the intricacy and detail of it's early architecture. The below image shows Blundell's Cottage, built circa 1860, believed to be one of the few remaining buildings built by the first Tasmanian Settlers of Canberra who were known as the Spawn of Lucifer and the ancestors of the Cats. Blundell's Cottage is an early example of the movement known as Ugg-boot Brutalism which dominates urban design today. Blundell's Cottage seats 6.

Ugg-boot Brutalism, fequently shortened in modern useage as CRAP is the predominant achitectural reference in the new suburb of Crace. According to latest census figures, Crace houses 25 billion cats and attracted 32 billion tourists on Saturday.

Canberra also has a powerful local government known as the Australian Capital Territory Cats Legislative Assembly which performs the complex roles of city council and territory government. The assembly is known for the quality of its political debate and for it's razor sharp mind that it shares betweeen its 17 members, elected from three districts using proportional representation of cats.

Canberra has a fascinating and diverse cultural scene, and is home to national institutions and monuments such as the Australian War Memorial, The National Portrait Gallery, the National Museum, the Stonefest Festival at the University of Canberra and an Owl on Benjamin Way. The National Art Gallery houses art acknowledges as some of the worlds finest by Canberra Cats.

Canberra also boasts the Canberra Symphony Orchestra (CSO) which is the professional symphony orchestra of the national capital, once described by acclaimed journalist Ian Warden as "uncanny - like the sound of 60 cats voices lifted together in song". The online motto of the CSO is more than just music..., chosen by a marketing panel in 2011 as an improvement on more or less music or the previously popular motto and audience prize winner voted as most appropriate motto by Online Cats Canberra of NYAH!

Canberra is home to the Australian Institute of Sport, attended by the nation's most elite cat talents. The institute is located in the Canberra suburb of Bruce, near to Crace but not near enough.  The majority of  Australia sporting champions trained at the Institute, and can be seen in elite sporting events believed to be the envy of the civilised world.

Canberra Cats enjoy the relaxed beach life where young Cats like to swim, surf or simply to lie back and enjoy the nudist colony ethos.

Visted by 82 trillion tourists annually, Canberra boasts both luxurious and intimate accomodation options, for those that enjoy being pampered:

Or, for a more intimate experience, Canberra is the first destination for honey-mooning couples or those seeking a more private, intimate romantic holiday experience.

Plan your visit and come and meet the locals today!

Last truffles at the market

I got the last two hunks of truffle being sold at the market. They are incredibly cute and brown, with excellent vein-type things in closeup. The are brown and lumpy on the outside.

Here they are:

Here they are from another angle which shows their nice veins:

Mmmm. There is about 40 grams there, which should do 8 entrees. They are for dinner on Tuesday - Truffle pasta entree followed by something. Until then, the truffles are in a big jar with my eggs - apparently the truffle infuses the egg or something. I'll see how that works out.

They were very reasonable - I only spent $50 what with them being the last truffles and the truffle blokes wanted to pack up and leave. Normally 40g would cost about $100 so I'm feeling extremely pleased about that. The smell grows on you.

While I was transferring stuff from my Camera to the laptop, I came across a picture of my dinner from weeks back. I wonder why I photographed it? I really need to cook this again, it was dead good. It is John Dory fillets and scallops with a champagne sauce and asparagus. Here he is:

I need to go marinate my lamb now in his lemon and garlic and whatever. The thing is I'm hungry now and what I really feel like is icecream, but that would be evil and wrong.

Food. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Expert Financial Advice

It's the bug-eyed black cat in the hot tie with expert tips for the financially savvy felines out there:

1. Follow the market - when tuna hits $1.50 you BUY BUY BUY!

2. Notice that Banana's are very pricey at the mome? Now is the time to invest in grapefruit. Tomorrow you will need to go around all the competing citrus growers property and chop all of the trees down, which will instantly increase the market value of your grapefruit. Grow those red grapefruit as well. Everyone likes a red grapefruit.

3. Earn money.

4. On no account spend any money on anything. Next time someone asks you to pay for something, point behind them and say "hey, look at that big, spooky blobby thing behind you". While they look away, have an internationally renown plastic surgeon change all of your facial features. When they look back, say "no, I didn't see where that person you are looking for went. My face is bleeding - could I borrow some gauze?"

5. Don't buy into THE SYSTEM... buy a snuggie (as seen on television). This will keep you warm when ACTEW shut off the power. You will also have plenty of grapefruit. A tricky design advantage of the snuggie is that it has built-in sleeves to the main blanky, so you don't need to reach out from under the blanky to change the channel. Since the power is off, it becomes less important to change the channel. My snuggie came in a very attractive leopard print. I wear it to work most days where I earn lots of money that subsequently does not get spent, because I get all my goods from people with a big, spooky blobby thing behind them, and then I have surgery.

6. Get drunk. You will possibly need to spend money doing this but it doesn't matter because nobody cares what they spend while drunk.

7. (Important) Be nice to spotted cats.

8. Remember, when all seems bleak, Wayne Swan has told us that Australia's fundamentals are strong. I don't exactly know what that means either, but it sounds very manly and economical and all.

Fresh Black Truffles in the Can

What's the point of truffles? They cost a poltice and smell somewhere between rich chocolate and old leather shoes.

I have given them a go - they are completely freaking delicious. Canberra is now a sort of black truffle winter hub. In season, you can buy them from two freaky looking art students pretending to dress as unemployed, or unemployed taking on a slightly arty look. They may not be real students because outside of the groovy grunge, they are suspiciously clean.

Truffles in Can cost about $2.50 a gram, and 5 grams per person is a good start. So you are out of pocket $25 with a snaplock bag with a bit of kitchen paper and a brown smelly thing. After a few goes, I discovered that all the hype about cooking them simply to bring out the flavour of the truffle is totally true. I found a recipe online for pasta with truffles - I recall it had not much but oil, garlic and anchovie and truffles tossed in some fresh linguini, with the last quarter of truffle grated over the top. Possibly the nicest thing I have ever cooked and one of the best things I have eaten. I will find the recipe link in time and stick it on this post. The title had something to do with Umbria which is apparently famous for black truffle along with chocolate and racing cars.

Here it is. I have served it with salad on the plate, which is totally wrong because proper Umbrians would have the pasta as an entree on its own, but I was watching an episode of America's Next Top Model and didn't want to stuff around getting up to fetch more courses.

Hello - update. I found the link and it is something like http://lacucinaitalianamagazine.com/recipe/umbrian_spaghetti_with_black_truffles

I totally recommend you cook this sometime.

Today I am heading out for ingredients for Chilli Con Carne. I love Chilli. Who doesn't like mexican food? I make this often, even from the prepack Ol' El Paso things. I have also tried a dozen or so recipes from scratch but I have a strong feeling that this one from Jamie Oliver in America (or Jamie Does America, or Jamie Oliver in America Cooking Stuff or whatever it is called) may be the best in the world.